Nightmares

It's strange how on and off throughout my life I've had nightmares around "getting the job done well". About showing up. About being prepared. About doing the job. When I was in college, I had constant nightmares about not having read any of the books on the reading list and the final exam was the next day. Yikes! Or when I was acting, the recurrent nightmare all actors have, I think, about being on stage and not knowing my lines. Frozen on stage. It's happened once or twice and it was not fun. And, after years of having the privilege of teaching actors, I had a ghastly nightmare last night about missing class. I wasn't in class! I was somewhere else and I kept thinking, "I have to get to class. I have to get to class."  Not being there, with all my students waiting and waiting was a frightening feeling. Is it sub-conscious fears - could I do more?, have I done all I could do? We care so much about the people who put their trust in us, whether they are college professors, or audience members or college/grad students and I guess, maybe for all of us, there is that nagging voice "am I doing all I could do for my teacher, for my students, for my audience ?"
But then another voice comes up and says, Trust yourself. You're doing the best you can do.