I haven't posted for a long time. Long long time. I think the last time was when my beautiful grandson was born. He's ten yrs old now. And he has a beautiful sister who is 7 yrs old. And a step-sister who is 9 yrs old. So the family has grown. Not only have they grown, I've grown...older. And it's a new phase of life. I'm slowly, very slowly, getting used to it. I go through phases. I miss my younger self and all the energy and people. I miss people whom I loved who have died. I miss the grandchildren as babies. And my children when we all played together. But my children have wonderful, happy lives and this makes me happy. And so grateful. Now I have to figure out my life. Now. This life at this age. When we're children we have our schedules all mapped out for us in school. Then as young adults we are busy with marriage, children, work, jobs, family...lots of racing around. And this racing continues for the middle years of our adult life. It's exciting and rewarding and tiring but it has purpose and is filled not only with biological family but with professional family. Then things change. Families grow up and create their own families. Professional families move on. So there's a mourning, a grieving, for what was and a gratitude and love for what was. The challenge comes with finding a new purpose. A new professional family. A service that I can provide. I am grateful to still be teaching/coaching. I love my students and their passion and excitement and curiosity. But I feel there is something more that I'm moving towards and it's moving towards me. I don't know what exactly it is but I'm hoping I'm a magnetic for it and it will draw itself to me. Does it have to do with children ? More later. Sleep now.