Nightmares

It's strange how on and off throughout my life I've had nightmares around "getting the job done well". About showing up. About being prepared. About doing the job. When I was in college, I had constant nightmares about not having read any of the books on the reading list and the final exam was the next day. Yikes! Or when I was acting, the recurrent nightmare all actors have, I think, about being on stage and not knowing my lines. Frozen on stage. It's happened once or twice and it was not fun. And, after years of having the privilege of teaching actors, I had a ghastly nightmare last night about missing class. I wasn't in class! I was somewhere else and I kept thinking, "I have to get to class. I have to get to class."  Not being there, with all my students waiting and waiting was a frightening feeling. Is it sub-conscious fears - could I do more?, have I done all I could do? We care so much about the people who put their trust in us, whether they are college professors, or audience members or college/grad students and I guess, maybe for all of us, there is that nagging voice "am I doing all I could do for my teacher, for my students, for my audience ?"
But then another voice comes up and says, Trust yourself. You're doing the best you can do.

Ian McKellan on Extras

I know this has been around for so long but it never ceases to amuse me. I just love it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyoWmkhRyp8

Theatre

Being in the world of  "pretend" has always given me the greatest joy and yes, the greatest escape. Whether in my bedroom as a twelve year old child pretending to be Mitzi Gaynor in South Pacific or as a 32 year old acting in a riveting story of revenge, or sitting in a theatre as a 59 year old woman watching wonderful actors singing, dancing and telling me a great story, theatre is, when done well, the best way to get away from worry and stress and be transported into a world where I, with so many others sitting beside me, can laugh, sing, cry and fall in love with the genius of actors, of singers, of dancers, of writers, of composers, of musicians....of performing arts and storytelling. Tonight I watched dear friends, and a former student (!) perform in an enchanting production of The Full Monty. I loved every minute. Last week, I took myself to see Les Miserables. It was wonderful. Last year, I took myself to see the touring company of West Side Story. I was again transported. How could those dancers do that ?!?! Their hard work and training made the experience magical. Listening to beautiful voices telling a story in song is the best. And watching what dancers can do with their bodies is stunning. I wish I could sing and dance. If I were 25 again, I'd learn. I was lucky when I was 27 to meet a wonderful acting teacher who taught me how to act. And I was lucky when I was 32 to meet an artistic director who hired me to act. And, in mid-life, I was lucky to have the privilege to work with actors on their passion and story telling.
I have been lucky to live in this world of "pretend", of storytelling, of courageous people who put themselves out on stage to give us all joy and, yes, escape from our worries and fears.

Grandson

My grandson is about to arrive ! This picture of my son, Charlie and my daughter-in-law, Isabelle, was taken on a small beach in Beverly Cove on April 10, 2012. The baby is growing bigger and due to be born in a couple of weeks. Both parents are doing great and have been blessed with lots of great baby stuff from many friends and family. On the day we took this picture, it was the third anniversary of Charlie's and Abby's (my daughter) father's death. He struggled heroically and selflessly with Alzheimer's for many many years. And died on April 10, 2009, at 3 am. We scattered his ashes on this third anniversary into the ocean where he swam every day with our dog, Jasper.